Fill me up please!!

So, here's an update beings that I'm a slacker. I went for my post-op appointment and had lost 6lbs. He told me he wouldn't tighten my band. We then argued and of course he won. Doctors!! SMH!! I had to wait a month before I could make another appointment. This is when I stopped writing on here. I was pissed and discouraged at myself. I was gaining weight and thought, wow...is this really going to work for me?? Of course the day I went back, I had actually lost weight. I was kinda upset because I thought he wouldn't fill me again. I tried not to pee before my appointment so I would weigh more...hahaha...it didn't work. I went back on Nov 1st and had only lost 4lbs. He responds, "That's all?" Well yes, that's all because I told you the last time I could eat way too much!

Nov 1st was my first fill. Interesting to find out that my port is somewhat in between my boobs and no where close to where I thought it was. I must say, it did hurt a lot more than I thought it would and was kind of sore after. Lesson learned...don't get filled on a day that you have to work. I could only eat clears until the next day...I gave in that night and ate a small meal. Boy did I regret it. I was so gassy that I thought I was going to die. Seriously painful and to make matters worse was at work where I couldn't let it out...haha!

Since then, I've lost 6 more lbs. I'm happy with 6lbs in almost a month and hope that it continues at this rate. I've noticed that it's harder for me to eat first thing when I wake up. I have to eat very slow and chew chew chew or I feel like I might throw up. I'm still able to eat just about anything without any problems. So far I love it and would do it all again in a heart beat...even with the ups and downs.

Blah

This week has been pretty good, until the weekend. I had gotten down to 318....woo-hoo. Friday I weighed and had gained 2lbs...booo! I know I shouldn't be weighing myself everyday. I know that the first 6 weeks are not focused on losing weight. I know that I need my first fill, because I can eat a lot before I feel full. I know I'm not going to lose weight overnight...damn it! I know my doctor said I would plateau and possible gain a few pounds. I know I need to get my ass off the couch and start walking...which I did twice this week.

I know all these things but this weekend has been hard on me....emotionally. I feel like I'm going to be fat for the rest of my life. I can't exercise without my knees hurting and I'm gaining weight. Yep, throwing a pity party for myself. Well yesterday afternoon, I realized why I was throwing one. Good old crimson wave came to visit with a vengeance. So, I watched "My Sister's Keeper" last night and had a really good cry and went to bed.

I know this is going to take time...lots of time but those little voices in my head are telling me I should be losing it faster and daily. I've read some blogs and forums this  morning and found out I'm not the only one who has gone through this. It's very common to gain prior to your first fill. I need to quit beating myself up inside because it's driving me even crazier than I already am. Hopefully, this next week won't be so depressing. Ups and downs...I'm all in now! Till next time :)

Beer

So, this week has been pretty good. I've been able to eat just about anything that I've wanted.
Everything gives me gas, so I suppose I won't know which foods do in particular.
Of course, other than the obvious. I've been stuck at 323.6 lbs all week...kinda sad.
Until today when I woke up and I'd lost a pound. WOO-HOO for a pound. :) I usually don't lose weight on my work week anyways, because I retain fluid and of course working night shift my body does crazy things. Ok ok...on to the disheartening news I learned
tonight.

I was cancelled from work tonight...woo-hoo! First thing I did was call Landen and see what they were doing. Then I grabbed a Raspberry Wheat Shock Top...yummy! As I was drinking my beer I thought, hmmm...is beer carbonated?? (I can't have anything carbonated because the bubbles can possibly stretch my new pouch and the band can slip) Yep...beer is carbonated :( Sad sad sad day! I've had a Blue Moon and two Shock Top's since surgery...damn!

I came in from outside and told Eric. He said, well I guess you're going to be a wino...lol Thank gosh I love wine. So, on those occasions when I splurge and have wasted calories, it will be a glass of wine instead of a beer. I know y'all are probably thinking, it's beer...who cares?? Well, I do! Haha! So, I will stop at the gas station on the way to Landen's and get that fancy wine from there...Till the next one!

I cheated!

So, here's an update. Things have been really depressing around here the last 2 weeks and I thank God for the family and friends that I do have. I started eating soft foods last weekend. Started with some good old Pintos and Cheese from Taco Bell....lots of protein. I did fine with those, other than the massive gas I got from eating 5 bites of them. I've been adding new foods daily to see what I can eat and what I can't. Unfortunately, I haven't found anything that I can't eat!! Who knew? Basically my meals have consisted of boiled eggs, tuna fish salad, wheat thins, baked chicken, veggies, and some fruits. I tried toast yesterday and it was delicious. I wasn't that big of a toast fan, but when I'm scared to try bread (which I love) it was amazing! Drinking lots of water has been difficult some days, but I'm managing anywhere from 50 - 60 oz a day.

Ok, so on to the cheat. I got home yesterday from a friends and my house smelt like fresh baked cupcakes. Seriously??? Well, we ate dinner and I didn't eat a single cupcake. Very proud of myself at that point. Last night around 9 I caved. My rational was that I had only had 2 meals yesterday, why not a cupcake for a 3rd. It was delicious and I enjoyed every minute of it. Then I felt bad for like a millisecond and I went to bed. I woke up this morning and of course got on the scale. I was thinking CRAP I've probably gained weight. I was wrong...I'd lost 2lbs in a day. I'm gonna start eating cupcakes every night!! HAHA So, since surgery (2 weeks ago) I've lost 14lbs. And since I've started dieting a total of 77lbs. YAY! I don't see it, except for my boobs. I'm going to be able to wear just band aids before too long...hahaha! Until next time!

Post-Op

Well today is post op day 3. It has been good so far. I got to the hospital at 530 and was only in Same Day for about 2 hours before they took me back to the OR. The only thing I remember is the nurse and CRNA discussing Words With Friends...haha go figure. I told them I needed drugs and he said he'd already slipped me something (thank gosh). I remember getting onto the table and that's it..no strapping down or anything. So whatever it was that he slipped me must have been pretty good stuff. Woke up in recovery and wasn't in as much pain as I thought I would be. Blah blah blah...I ended up getting home around noon. I was miserable then because they had given me a Lortab 7.5. They make me nauseated and I was so scared to throw up. Thank gosh for Phenergan. I have 5 pretty ugly incisions on my stomach, worse than when I had my Gallbladder removed. Slightly freaking out over one of them because it's draining a little...YUCKKK!

The first day was ice chips only. Second clear liquids every 30 minutes. Third day I've been alternating clear liquids and full every 15 mins. I've never been so excited to drink a Boost! I will have to continue doing full/clears for the next week or week and a half. Then possibly start moving to soft foods. Dr. Crawford told Eric I could start soft when I felt like I was ready. He also said that the first 6 weeks are focused on letting your stomach heal and figuring out what foods you can tolerate rather than focusing on weight loss. I must say, being a member of the Scale Whore Club...I will focus on both...haha. As of this morning, I've lost 67lbs total. I know it's coming off quick now because of drinking only liquids, but hey...it's coming off.

Speaking of Dr. Crawford, I must say he has impressed me beyond what I expected of a General Surgeon. He (not his nurse) called me on Saturday night to check on me and get my email address to send me a link to keep up with progress. I was surprised. What Dr. is going to call you on a Saturday night at 7pm?? Not many of them!

I would like to thank mankind for the invention of Gas X, Colace, and Prevacid! Seriously, don't know how these last few days would have been without them. I have so many questions about this whole thing still and so hopefully my nutritionist will call me back today. Of course, there's loads of info on the Internet, but I think I'd rather hear it from her.

I just read back through this and thought to myself...WOW, I'm way too open about myself! Till the next one!

Scale Whore

I know it's been a while since I've written and some of y'all are dying. I won't mention any names but you know who you are! Haha. Let's just say working plus eating a full liquid diet equals extreme exhaustion. Working was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be...cravings wise. Yes, I did suck on Gardetto's Rye Chips but I had the will power not to swallow them lol. Sad what you will do just to get the taste of food. I threatened to lick ranch off of Ranch Fries and wasn't joking. Al's makes some awesome Ranch Fries if you're every in Birmingham. I almost attacked a friend of my brother's who brought McDonald's fries over while they were swimming. When I first met Eric it was a joke between us, that I was a McD's fry whore...just get me some fries and I'll do ANYTHING he wanted. Well...let's just say I got the fries and he was disappointed a lot of times...haha. Needless to say, it's been a hard week, but I'm very proud of myself, that I've only swallowed liquid and everyone has survived...so far.


If you ever need to lose weight in a week or so, just go on a full liquid diet. It's amazing how crappy it makes you feel, but hey, I've lost 14lbs since August 4th. Really, I don't recommend it, it's not fun. I've become what some would call a Scale Whore. I live and breath to get on my scale in the mornings. Sounds unhealthy in a way, I know but I'm actually OK if I haven't lost. Yes, I think "Really??? I've been eating nothing for what??" But then I'm ok. It's not going to come off immediately and it's going to be a roller coaster. I know this, but I'm glad to announce my membership to the official Scale Whore Club.


I went for my pre-op appointment at the hospital on Monday. They asked a bunch of questions, did an EKG, drew some blood and gave me a pretty new red bracelet that I have to wear all week. FUN! That's the joy of having your surgery at a small hospital in a small town. You would think they would be able to pull up my Type and Screen, just in case I need blood, without scanning my arm band. God love them. They told me I have to be in Same Day Surgery at 530am on Friday and surgery is schedule for 930 or 940am, I can't remember which. I'm nervous but not about the procedure or afterwards, I'm scared to be put to sleep. I will again rely on John Mayer to calm my nerves prior to surgery....I love that man. Well I think I've rambled enough. Till the next one!

The "O" Ring

Today started out very frustrating but yet entertaining. I have a recipe for a smoothie that contains milk, peanut butter, 1/2 frozen banana and protein powder. Sounds yummy and simple right? Well, I added milk to my smoothie maker and was about to add the peanut butter when I heard something leaking on the counter. All of a sudden the milk in the smoothie maker was all over the counter!!!???!! I screwed the bottom on tighter and proceeded to try again. Again, milk everywhere. (This is when I say F the smoothie maker...moving to the food processor) Making a smoothie in a food processor equals liquid shake. At this point I'm so frustrated I just add crushed ice and drink it anyways. Very tasty actually. I'm thinking to myself, God hates me...how can it be this hard to make a freaking smoothie??!!??

I finish breakfast and call Eric. By the way, he was on his way to Burger King...thanks! I tell him I need a new blender and explain it all to him. He laughs and says ok. He then calls me back about 10 mins later and tells me that his mom washed it yesterday and asked if the "O" ring was on it. My response...."What "O" ring?" Needless to say the "O" ring was sitting on the counter next to the smoothie maker the whole time. Of course I felt like an idiot.

I begin to think that maybe this is the devil trying to get at me. I'm not a religious person, but here lately I've been considering the idea. Seriously though, who better to turn to when you just can't do something and it feels like the whole world is against you. Yes, just because you can't operate a smoothie maker. Who would've thought a simple machine can make you get so angry that you cry and then laugh at yourself because you realize you're a little bonkers!

With the "O" ring in place...dinner was a success. Blended Zuppa Tuscano!